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3 Reasons New Years Resolutions Never Work

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3 Reasons New Years Resolutions Never Work

Posted by Shereen Thor in Blog, Rebel Inspiration

 

“When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.”  Jim Rohn

 

I am always posting around this time of year on social media asking people what are their New Year Resolutions. Inevitably I always get people who say, “I don’t set them anymore because they never happen.” Or, “My new year’s resolution is to never set any new years resolutions.”

 

I know New Years Resolutions can be cliché, so some of us rebels have a resistance to them (what a surprise, right? lol), but at the risk of sounding trite I must ask, doesn’t everyone want a fresh start sometimes?

 

I mean come ON. We have all had stuff go “wrong” or had horrific and painful experiences in our lives, so the idea of a fresh start really brings a beautiful newness into our lives. A fresh energy, an excitement around what is possible even for the most notorious cynics ;)

 

SO, I figured I’d address this age old issue of New Year Resolutions and why they do not work, along with some tips on how to make sure they do. And just as a warning, I will be totally and completely overdoing it on Jim Rohn quotes because he was a bad ass and his wisdom totally applies to this subject.

 

#1  You aren’t willing to do what it takes to get your new resolution

 

A lot of people say they want a certain something whether it’s a hot bod, a bangin’ career, or an amazing relationship. The problem is that they aren’t willing to do what it takes to have this wonderful new thing. Often times when you want to upgrade some area of your life that requires discomfort and growing pain to some degree. In the case of a hot bod, you gotta go to the gym and feel the burn, or withdraw from that burger fries and a coke you love so much. For a bangin’ career we may need to work harder, look for a new job, or do some deep soul searching to figure out our purpose. Again this requires discomfort and some pain to some degree. It’s annoying to look for jobs; go on interviews. It’s very uncomfortable and takes courage and risk to put yourself out there. Not everyone wants to do that part. For an amazing relationship you may need to dig up some fears you have around love, or go to couples therapy. You will DEFinitely need to be vulnerable, and again not everyone wants to experience this stuff.

 

So here’s the deal: Resolutions often don’t work because people want the carrot or the bait, they just don’t want to have to do the work or experience the discomfort necessary to earn the bait. A great way to remedy this is to learn to love the burn =) Know that it’s a part of life and to get REALLY cliché about it I’ll say, “No pain, no gain.” Booyah!

 

And in the brilliant words of Jim Rohn:  “We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.”

 

#2  You aren’t willing to evolve in order to have your new resolution

 

Often times when you are going after a goal or looking to up-level your life in some way it will require you to become someone different on the path to this new place. It will require you to change. Maybe you need to change the friends you are hanging out with, maybe you need to change your daily habits, whatever it may be…some people just do NOT like change. The truth is, you must evolve in order to have, experience, or be something new. When I went from single and fabulous to in a loving and happy relationship I immediately needed to do a few tough things and become someone new. I needed to:

 

1.  Stop being too cool for school and admit I wanted and needed love in my life.
2.  I needed to allow myself to be fully “seen” and open up in a very vulnerable way.
3.  I needed to learn not to leave every time things got tough and really stick through hard topics and discussions. I became much more comfortable with discussions that could look like conflict in order to stay with someone long term.

 

In short, I became someone new. The old Shereen would not be able to be in a relationship because she was too short sighted and impulsive. I literally evolved into a new person in order to have love in my life. This is what you need to do too when you want something new in your life.

 

I will shamelessly validate this fact by using TWO Jim Rohn quotes ;)

 

“The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it.”

 

“Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become.”

 

Damn that Jim is good! So the point here is to get more comfortable with the changes you need to make and the natural evolution that occurs as you go after these resolutions. If you want to stay the same, then forget about setting a resolution. It won’t work.

 

 # 3   Your environment doesn’t support you in getting your new resolution

 

This one is a tough one for a lot of people because just like in the last tip YOU may need to evolve and change in order to get a resolution…in this tip your environment may need to change. In order to go after something and get it you need to stick to it. In order to stick to something you need accountability and support. In order to get accountability and support you need NEW people in your life & new systems in place that hold you up even when things get tough.

 

This is why Weight Watchers works. They meet once a week. Not once a month, not once whenever it’s convenient, not once a year. ONCE A WEEK. They weigh you in, to see where your progress is, there are other people there supporting you who have a common intention, and you immerse yourself in this new environment to support you in your lifestyle change. This is the type of accountability and support people need when they are creating a new habit for themselves and going after a goal. This is why you often times need a coach or a mastermind group to help you on your way.

 

For those of you who are looking for more support in your resolutions PLEASE come to Awaken The Rebel Live. It is my live annual 2 day event that I hold in Los Angeles, CA to ensure you upgrade instead of feeling regret that you never made it happen.

 

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized – never knowing.” Jim Rohn

 

Thank you for reading and being a part of the Awaken The Rebel Movement, if you want more information about Awaken The Rebel Live you can check the link, or you can email me HERE.

 

Please comment and let us know what one of your New Year resolutions is, I’d love to know!

 

Here’s to you and all your resolutions coming true.

 

Love and Fulfillment,

 

Shereen Faltas

27 Dec 2013 5 Comments
  • Pauline December 30, 2013 at 12:00 am / Reply

    Well said! I definitely agree.

    • Shereen Faltas December 30, 2013 at 1:31 am / Reply

      Thanks darlin’! =) much appreciated!

      • Shereen Faltas December 30, 2013 at 8:23 pm / Reply

        I love you Keeks!! Let me know what they think =) -Shereen

  • Kiola December 30, 2013 at 6:10 pm / Reply

    This is great I am sharing this with my students in lecture today and sending them all to your site! This is perfect information for my lecture on using SMART goal setting. You’re basically famous in my classroom!!

  • Colin Hay January 1, 2014 at 4:42 pm / Reply

    Sometimes the awkward part is when your support structure is going to be deeply affected by the changes you need to make. Probably it’s way too long of a story to tell here but I find for me that’s one of the issues. I do have support amongst my friends but family sometimes can be a different matter. And I have a really bad tendency to over-work myself so changing that would impact my success at work drastically but I know I need to do it (on the positive side I finally have set myself up with a gym membership so there are positive moves). At home, I would need to get out more to do personal stuff and that’s a tough one. I share a condo with my brother so I feel at times that if I do too much for myself then I’m ignoring him. It’s completely not true since my interests rarely intersect his but it doesn’t change how I feel at times.
    But it’s a new year and time for new changes.

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