Motherhood is the Progressive Choice.
I don’t have the audacity to complain about my choice. Born into a broken home, dad used to beat mom and I came into a shattered world.
They split up and that was the beginning for her as life as a single mom.
She killed it. Was the provider, hell she was everything. But she was tapped and tired so naturally neglect set in.
I vowed to live a life where I would put motherhood first. My kids would feel important. They would get time with mom and feel emotionally nurtured by her.
A luxury not available to my mom given her circumstance, but it was mine for the taking.
So it was strange when I became a mom & I felt less than. The external praise that I got from my career that made me feel successful and worthy was gone.
Who was I if I was not that person anymore? Was I less worthy? Less valuable? Did I still matter?
A lot of moms go through this experience. I call it the momcrisis.
Their old identity does not exist anymore and a new one begins.
But who is this new woman? What are her strengths? Why does she matter? What makes her interesting or competent?
Many women are criticized for making the choice to slow down their careers to be with their children. And that criticism burns.
Because in a world that defines success as money and fame, who the fuck is a mom?
But I’ll tell you. She is the single most important factor in nurturing the family. Call me a matriarch, but I truly believe this.
Keeping the family close she instills values and self worth.
Who is the family? They are the new generation.
The new generations of heroes or assholes who run our society. I do not have the audacity to complain about my choice to put the family first and slow down my career.
Zero to 8 is the imprint stage. The time that cements who we are as people on a deeper level.
I can and I will put my children first for their first 8 years and every day thereafter.
My career can wait. My ambition can calm. Notoriety can sit patiently on the sidelines.
This is my choice and I am proud of it.
There’s no role I will ever play in this life that is more important than being mom to my kids.
I will never matter more to anyone on the planet, and failing them is not an option.