To be the Asshole.
I often times feel like an asshole.
I am an asshole.
I am often times the only one in the room who will say what everyone else is thinking.
Who will call out the giant elephant.
I’ll speak the truth. Even if it’s offensive. Even if it’s hard to swallow. Even if it’s uncomfortable.
Now this is a gift. It often times creates massive progress to cut through the crap and get to the heart of the matter. So many people waste SO MUCH time and energy being afraid to get to the point.
So honestly I friggin’ rock.
But it doesn’t take away the sting.
You would think people would thank me for keeping it real.
Or at the very least secretly let me know that it was a good move.
But they don’t. They are in their corners and I am in mine. But I just outed myself, and their silence burns.
So I feel the burn.
I sit in this discomfort of feeling like the asshole who just went too far. Or the jerk off who should have kept their mouth shut.
But honestly it’s what makes me special. It’s what makes me a leader.
It’s what makes me strong. That I have the balls to say it. That I am not so afraid of what people think that I will compromise my ability to live an honest life.
Doesn’t make me feel any less isolated. Doesn’t make me feel any less insecure.
But this is the rebel life I chose. Rather than cowering in silence about all that I was seeing and experiencing, I spoke up.
I spoke up so that I could feel like I had integrity. So that I could protect others from harm. I spoke up because it felt more painful to be quiet than to take a stand for what’s right.
So I guess I gotta learn to not only deal with the burn, but to love the burn.
Because it is just a reminder that I am doing my job.