Bed Rest Diaries
Reporting to you here from a hospital bed. Weird right?! Hella weird.
Yesterday I was at a routine OBGYN appointment for my pregnancy and apparently the risk for preterm labor got so bad that they are hospitalizing me to get me to sit on my ass lol.
So here I am. Just me alone with my thoughts. And here’s where I am so far.
WOW. It’s amazing how much when you call out for support people REALLY. SHOW. UP. Holy cow
I am one of those people (like many I’m sure so don’t worry I don’t think I am special lol) that has trouble asking for help and receiving support.
I like to do it myself, feel independent, not burden others. This can serve for a very pioneering masculine existence…always going the distance alone.
Pregnancy, Labor, Postpartum, becoming a mom. It all truly changed my life. Changed ME.
It’s my biggest learning curve to realize that when it’s not about me or my ego or what I feel comfortable with…
When it’s about another tiny human, one who I love more than myself…that asking for help is the single most important skill you can learn to ensure optimal health and happiness for the little sweetie.
So alas, I embark on letting go of my Joan of Ark ways, and chilling the fuck out. Letting people in. Asking for help. Receiving more.
And I think about how interesting it is to shift in this way. To stop being an ambitious pioneer who does it all alone on sheer will, and to become a more feminine version of yourself who is so connected to a little human’s needs that you make more connections everywhere and reach out beyond yourself to create a beautiful net for them to land on.
Weird. What a different way to live.
And so I sink even more into that as I lay on this bed. Feeling showered by the love of family and friends. Acquaintances that I would never think have the time of day to look twice at my post calling out for encouragement. But they do. And I am floored and honored and grateful. More than anything I am grateful.
It was also so beautiful to see so many people who just a week ago were fighting against each other on a facebook thread regarding politics to all rally together and show love and support for their fellow human. Their fellow American. Their fellow HUMAN.
It truly brought love and healing and joy to my heart to see that.
So now I have nothing but time. Time to be with myself. With those who visit. Time to pray for a pregnancy that goes to full term and a healthy baby.
For the whole time I have been shifting into motherhood the thing I have missed most is my alone time. So here it is. A gnarly dose of it lol.
So what do I do?? I look at my podcast stats of course! Who has time (or energy) to look at stats when you have a 2 year old and a baby on the way?! lol. Not this girl!
I just launched that baby and am so excited. I feel like it’s the perfect medium for my unique gifts, and talents. A place where I can place my heart, soul, and passion and lay it all on the table. It is my form of art and self expression.
Finally I found my home.
Thank you all for being so supportive and loving and providing a community and a safety net that makes me feel happy, connected and loved.
I owe you everything and you are my everything.
Big hugs and love,
ps. Here is the link to the podcast in case you haven’t checked it out yet, and if you like it give me a review! <3 https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/awaken-the-rebel/id1171730572?mt=2