I Want to Wear a Hoodie Everyday
I have been doing some serious soul searching lately.
I feel blessed to even be writing this. Thank you for caring to read these words.
As I type I have been touched deeply by two things. And forgive me for how silly this will sound lol.
One is a talk given to students of Cal State LA by KRS1 (I’ll post the link at the bottom of this blog).
And the other is the culmination of binge watching 6 seasons of the TV show Parenthood on Netflix.
And here is what I’ve gleaned…
I want to wear a hoodie every day, and I don’t care about making money. I knew this before, but I’ve been reminded.
I care enough to do what I’ve got to do to make my life simple and uncomplicated and sure I’d love more money if it came my way…
But that’s in the physical material world.
There is something so wonderful about the fact that we are all spirits in a body. We are a BEING. Something that the English language could never describe with it’s limited words, and something people could never understand with their limited intellect.
This is why I cannot coach on entrepreneurship anymore. I must stay in the realm of spirituality. Sure if you want a tip or a trick I can have your back because I’ve studied it for years from some of the greats.
But it’s not actually what I want to talk about. It’s not actually what I want to be about.
I want to give LIFE WITH MY WORDS. I want people to leave me effected and more alive and inspired and on FIRE.
I cannot do this when I talk about facebook ads. I cannot do this when I talk about an opt in page or an email list.
And let’s be real I honestly don’t care about those things either. Again, I care enough to function and build something in this physical world, but my SOUL does not care.
And that’s what makes me different. Or useful at all in this life that I am not subscribing or teaching the things that everyone else is.
I often times see a youtube personality who is killing it doing something that I could do if I would just apply myself in that way and I second guess myself. I even think I should be doing more stand up comedy. Or creating an Awaken The Rebel podcast…I should be on radio like so and so, I should be on TV like them, I should I should I should….
But should I?
I mean really…should I?
How would I FEEL if every time I went to a restaurant with my family I had to take my phone out to record a promo…would I enjoy that version of life? How would I feel if I had to put on make up and try and impress people with charm and personality every week? Would I enjoy that?
And the answer is no. I would not. I COULD be doing those things. But I don’t WANT to.
This reminds me of a verse in the bible, “Everything is permissable but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
You could do it all, sure…but would it truly be good for you? The answer for me is no.
I want to be in the guts of life. I want to be in the darkness of emotion. I want to be in the infinite joy and pain and magnificence of it all…
And I can only do this when I stay in a space of connectivity, intellect, spirituality, philosophy, art, and love.
That’s it. I have been thinking lately about starting a podcast. Not one to sell my coaching or build business. Not one to funnel people into a group coaching program, but one to just be real as heck.
One to be real, and grounded and to avoid the mundane and ordinary in life and give energy and attention to things that actually matter.
It would be for me first. Not for sales. Not for you. Not for anyone. Just an answer to a call. My higher calling. The part of me that knows better than to focus on what could be consumed by the masses. To be true to spirit and give my soul its due respect. That it’s not a cog in a wheel, but that it has a purpose and I will actively live out this purpose…for me, for life, to do what’s right.
To live a life of courage rather than logic.
This feels interesting to me. How much I crave to have no agenda. To stop selling and pushing and striving and to just BE.
To just be the truth of myself. My soul. To just express for the sake of expressing love, rage, passion, truth, and life.
All that matters is love, and all you need is love.
Call me a cheeseball. But this is for me first so I don’t care 😉
Let me know if you would be interested in an AWAKEN THE REBEL podcast – conscious conversations to help non conformists to avoid boredom. And if you want to contribute to the project by emailing me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Here is the link to the KRS1 lecture (it’s long but worth it so watch it damn it).
And please give yourself the joy and depth of binge watching Parenthood. Holy crap it’s gangster.